Even Facebook knows it. Damn, she doesn't !

There are moments in life when we question ourselves whether we know somebody enough. Or have we ever known them enough? We start suspecting and undermine our understanding of him/her. I think this happens with everybody at some point of life! 

The internet, however, is a strange creature.  It amazes me with its sheer vastness and range. It can sometimes show some unsuspecting hidden things. 9 out of 10 times i let go of all the invites for games or apps on Facebook. Surprisingly, this October, i just opened one of such app invites and whatever unfolded later made me smile and chuckle over and over again. Swear to god, it was a sheer coincidence but one that made my day. It's depicted below.

According to Facebook, I have a secret admirer. She checks out my facebook profile covertly leaving some online trail which was caught by this app. Pata nahi kyu ye sab kaise ho jata hai uske saath :D :D From a computer virus to operating system crash to Laptop crash to Bank account mismatch and what not ! The incidences have come down as she has matured but phir bhi kabhi kabhi shock lag hi jaata hai :P

Well, she must be wondering right now as to HOW this happened ? By now, all her computer and internet skills must have crossed her mind at least once. And finally she will lift one of those hands subconsciously and some part of it would touch either her hair or her mouth. Honestly, even i don't know how this app functions but its algorithm must be super perfect to track even those who are not on my friend list. On a serious note, it would be particularly useful for girls to know who is stalking them. 

Coming back to the point, even Facebook knows she admires me. But she might feel difficult to acknowledge it. I wish someday like Facebook, she will admit and be what she is, rather than putting up the macho, wisdom-ful, out of the world personality which is taking her away from some earthly realities. Anyhow, my day was made and i am openly thankful to FB, the app and Geet.

Re Kabira Maan ja, Re Fakira yu na ja ........ Aaaja tujhko pukaare teri parchaaiyaan......
(playing in the background)

Give me more...

After 15 hours of marathon sleep to cover 2 weeks of continuous travel, i am up and extremely refreshed. I am feeling like a superman who has been just been given nuclear powers, ready to explode and bomb the world.

Life on land is as strange as the life under an ocean. Everyone knows its there but no body knows the depth of it. Sometimes we get reminded of the vulnerability of our life. No matter, how much we want to run away from it but some one or the other will rub salt on your old wounds, knowingly or unknowingly. 

In my recent tour of Bombay, one of my hall mates unknowingly rubbed lot of salt. He is 38 and i went to meet him after 4 long years. "And how is that girl who were so avidly fond of and seen roaming on scholar's avenue 2.2 ?" He asked. The smile with which i entered with in his beautiful home vanished in a jiffy.  "Hey Bhagwaan, not again....." I murmured. "Sir.... wo.......actually......the thing is", there was nothing i could say.  There was nothing i could have said. My dear friend Punyatma interrupted, "Are sir, wahi jo hota hai.... Haha... Phir kata saale ka.."  He is an experienced guy, understood quickly and we moved on to other talks.

Whosoever i met in Mumbai after those long years asked the same question and i had a tough time answering all of them. I understood that the difficult thing in life is to be made answerable for something about which you had no clue. What should i answer? I invested my time in somebody and if it did not materialize, then what do i do? I have learned my lesson. I have my key takeaways. Theek hai yaar, hota hai life me.  C'mmon....give me more. I want more salt on my wounds... to the point where i become numb.

" Wo chal pade hain zindagi me, hamse zuda hamse alag,

   Ummed hai humein, ki raaste takraenge zaroor"

Macha Diya.....!!

I wrote my last post setting the objectives for the first Quarter of FY 2014-15 and what a quarter it has been! Suffice to say, Macha diya...! So many happy, joyous, prosperous and once-in-a-lifetime things happened that i am forced to write about all of them so that i cherish them for long. 

April 14

• The first month of the quarter started with a bang. Another high performance year and consequently another bumper appraisal. Consistent potential delivered. Obviously the responsibilities will increase, but then i never shied away from them. I am happy that the financial targets i thought to achieve after the age of 30 have been achieved much before that! 

• Just after that, i went to Kerala. The place seriously has something and i am in awe of it. So beautiful is the state that i forgot all my tiredness once i reached there. I covered 2 cities and the roaming was worth it. The beaches were serene, the people helpful, the nature at its best and the only trees i could see were coconut! God's Own Country? Yes it is..! The breath taking sereneness just caught my eye and i wanted to live there for a few more days.

• Another World IP Day. Another Chief Guest but same host and same anchor! The program was a runaway hit and i am glad about the feed backs received. The IIT-IIM educated speaker nailed it and i am glad to have conversed with him. I was also awarded for leading a project from the front and demonstrating my potential. 

 May 14

• Having conquered April, i was in high spirits. My spirits hit the roof in May when i was invited for the first time in career as a lead speaker for a conference at a prominent well known college. I could not pursue Ph.D. but that has not affected my passion to impart knowledge. My first talk as a corporate speaker was super-hit. The professors, external participants, Ph.D and M.Tech students equally liked it. So much so that the 2 hours allotted to me went on to become 3 hours and i kept on speaking naturally. I had to face a flurry of questions but i enjoyed patiently answering each one of them. I earned a lot of knowledge and the confidence to face 50 year olds in life. To my surprise, i was paid handsomely for this one ! 

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•  That's not all. I went on my first bike trip of this quarter. My biker gang made a plan and we had a gala time. Sometimes it is good to forget the turns, take wrong roads, forget the GPS and maps, and just ride.... in the cool breeze that is abundant in South India. We took a wrong turn and the scenary that ensued was so serene that no body wanted to check where we were! 250 kms and all completed in 6 hours flat! The haunted sea bed that we discovered with no one in sight and the way we jumped in the water like mad souls was just too good. Sometimes, it is also best not to think anything and just jump in the water.... :)  

  

June 2014

• With so many good things and experiences already completed in so little time, it was time for another adventure. To go to the southernmost part of India....Kanyakumari! That too when monsoons just started. I swear to God that i have not seen such mad clouds, so many wind mills and so many natural things in one go. The feeling that i was at the southernmost point of India was inexplicable. Visiting the Vivekananda Rock memorial made me more patriotic when i could not anything further except the Ocean. It was the time of my life. The subsequent temple visits bettered the experience.

After a not so good 2013, this year is proving to be great. I am happy that God has kept his good eye on me. I am indebted to thy for ever. He has tested my patience oft and on, but has always rewarded me handsomely at the end. I am sure that many more places, many more talks, many bike trips and many more professional wins are ahead of me.  With so much already done in Q1 along with managing my job, i am sure that i am ready for a more thrilling Q2.

When i will read this post after some years, i might wonder about the Q1 FY 15 and the good thrills and tasks completed in so less time. Any how its documented now!

Plan FY 15

Come April 2014 and so many things to take place starting from appraisal first. Corporates have the uncanny ability to plan their life according to the financial year and not according to calender year. Hahaha..! Failing to plan is sure shot way of planning to fail. So April FY 15 would see a grand change to apni lifestyle. 

Looking forward to my first trip to God's own country and some grand parties in April ! May is packed for a central Karnataka trip and June i am going to Kanyakumari...! God this is like a dream i cherished for long ! Yes the southern most part of India which i always dreamt of in textbooks and now it would be a realization. The motto of Q1 FY 15 would be to work hard and roam harder :P I intend to throw away my laziness which has clung on to me off-lately. Q2 is any how full of holidays and planning to test my Fazer to full throttle. Q3 would be planned later and Q4 would be to trounce work targets.

In FY 14, i had spend so much time on late night movie shows. It would be reduced to just 1 per month. I think that's adequate. FY 15 will also be marked with important changes on personal front. I am so so looking forward to it. More time to family, little less to friends and no time to foes. 

My Vaio would remain packed for most part of the year and i would try to largely avoid social media in FY15. Social media is the most unsocial way ever created to socialize. It is a modern way to waste your precious time which is invented by Mark Zuckerberg and Sergey brin. They themselves are efficient, timely and rich but want the world to see each other's idiotic photos and comments and thus to waste its precious time and stay poor! 

FY 15 would also be devoted to more effective sleep and more of exercise. Off lately, i have missed many gym sessions and i would try to be more regular. Want to see a leaner body full of infectious energy to take on this world. Jai Ho....!

Bhaag Milkha Bhaag (rock version) playing in the backdrop and adding to my enthu !

 

My Bike and me....

Wanting to just run away from this life at 100 kmph on my bike somewhere on the highways of India. The mast student-turned-corporate slave-turned-biker had this feeling through out this valentine day. Read a really beautiful line posted by one of my long forgotten friends, but worth attaching as pic. 

 

So even though i am single now, I did pray and remembered my ex-valentine with whom i share some really cherishable and good moments over the years. I wished good for her and actually felt good !  

But as the day went down and sun closed its arms, i was badly missing someone. It is usually in these situations that real men turn to their bikes, their true valentines. I did some really fast, zip-zap-zoom and defying ride at law breaking speeds. In fully kitted up riding avatar with my riding jacket, gloves, fiery helmet and shoes on, i looked no more than an alien on road. But in the end, my faithful valentine did not ditch and the evening was well spent with her. We had coffee and then started for home. There is some inexplicable thing that connect bikers with their bikes. Having lived, seen, experienced and surrounded by bikes through these years, i am in love with some of them. I really love Hyosung Aquila 250. The bike defines me. It defines my life which has been like a journey taking me from good roads, to potholes and briefly stopping by for some unconventional scenic beauties and then again...... to good roads to potholes!  

But just like real valentines, this one costs to much for my pocket as of now. Nonetheless some day, I will get the true valentine of my dreams, THE Hyosung Aquila 250. We Indians always prefer money over pleasure. Some idiot folks would say, "itne me to car aa jaati !". Somebody explain to them that "four wheels move a body, two wheels move the soul". Only a biker/bike lover can understand that. 

I really like the caption for my present bike: " The touring spirit - Because for some, one life is enough".  And that's the end. Me and my valentine..... 

The love of my life.... :)

And i am back after a while to my best friend here...

Today, a corner of my heart wants to write something about the true love of my life. I dont know how to say and what to say but i will. Whenever i am free, I talk to myself through this blog. This blog has shown and documented the real 'me' since 2008. It has been through me in the ups and downs in my personal and professional life. So far, the only constant in my life! It is here that you started liking me and acknowleding my writing prowess. I read once that a person's importance in your life is determined when you miss him incessently after the person leaves. Then we want to do everything for him/her which we were unable to do because we were tied up in the entangled threads of life. I have been no different.

I am one of few unlucky persons who found a lovely lady and ended up losing her. I admit it with honesty. My mornings are cold now, nights lonely. Its been almost a year but she changed the way i live my life now. I am no more a slave to money, rather a friend. Its been more than 6 months since i have touched a ciggarette stick. I watch a movie once every fortnight. I am not a crazy workaholic i once was. I do go for outings and spend quiet time with nature. I now want to visit all the places she visited but i will take them one by one. Recently i visited a Tamilnadu village and a dam nearby. So quiet, simple and sober that i was cursing myself that it would have been great had we came together here a year back.

Boys take the matter of love very differently than girls and it is hard to understand and explain how. Sometimes, a sadness prevails starkly during night while i struggle to find the reasons for my existence and my failures. But her bubbly face flashes before me and i forget all my pains. And this helps me to sleep. Life has been painful after she departed but i have managed to live it with the best of my abilities and honouring all my commitments without letting anybody know that i am not happy somewhere. I do feel a big void everyday in my life as i do not get to laugh on crazy acts of her, replying to her flurry of questions some of which would make me laugh to the core of my heart and stomach as well, listening to those sweet songs and sipping that piping hot special tulsi tea. I tried making similar tea many times but while i successfully made the tea, the soul of it was missing. I would never match the love, details and care with which it was prepared by her. I will never forgive myself for dishonouring one such cup of tea and throwing the cup away, breaking it into pieces. That must have broke her heart as much as i feel the pain now. I learnt that not all mistakes are forgiveable and this one will remain with me till my last breath.

Mathikere is my favourite place in Bangalore now as it was there that i spent all my good times but realized it a bit later. I do go there for coming to peace with myself and eating good north indian food. The Tutty fruity and Delhi paranthas are always a treat to eat, unlike the idli-vada and sambhar i eat daily at my workplace. I am barely able to stop myself from smiling when i see the "Pavitra wines" label on top of the only wine shop present there knowing well that the accompanying smile partner is missing now. However not everything is gloomy. My weekends are not occupied now and i am free to think about her as much as i want. And that is something no body can take away from me – My space and My thoughts.

I do check her blog everyday to know if she wrote something. I do stare at her facebook wall occasionally to check how she looks now and if there is any pic that she made public. I do check mails everyday to see if there is any new mail for my 'Times of remember' folder. I want to just say that despite the mistakes i did, despite the problems i created, despite the rudeness i showed, despite the cup i broke, despite making her spend some lonely moments, despite the time i could not spend with her, despite the hatred she have shown for me and despite the fact that she is not here now, i love her and would keep loving her. She has moved on but her memories, acts, smiles, tears and the moments are with me always guiding me to become a better me. That she has left me does not make me sad but remembering that she once loved me does. Thanks to her for making me understand how it feels to know when you are actually in love madly, deeply and sanely with someone. To quote from her words sms'ed to me a few years ago, I hope God is probably busy in writing another best love story for me, somewhere.