SACHIN

Life...

2011-11-20T04:34:00.001+05:30

Life is a strange thing. It shows up untold, unheard, unseen things. Sometimes it becomes so easy that you just wish that the days stop passing by and sometimes you just want that the days shouldn't stop by. Some happy, some complex, some angry and some sad days, there's so much in it. What it also helps in is to get mature.

It inspires you to set road maps about where you want to go, about what you want to be, about how you want that golden goal of yours! Off lately i have slowed down on posting on my blog. I have been occupied by things, kept busy and trying to solve life's fundas. I have been successful in most of them. But here is one point from where i can make or break myself. As i get all set to climb this crucial stage, i just wish that God gives me the courage and will to succeed. Sometimes, life takes its own course. I will just try to keep it on the right track. And miles to go before i sleep, and miles to go before i sleep...........

NIGHT - The Best Friend of ourselves

2011-10-17T04:06:00.003+05:30

During my short existence on this planet, i have realized that if you ever want to know yourself, about your likings and disliking, about rights and wrongs, befriend the NIGHT! Its the best friend you can ever have outside your humane circle. Over the years, this friend has made me self-aware, the moment i am drifting. Sometimes, i am just left spellbound and go into the endless, reverberating phenomena called 'thinking' in the lexicon of homo sapiens solely because of endless silence this friend of mine creates after 12:00 A.M. It sounds and feels like a vacuum, like everything has come to a standstill and I just can't escape it. It pushes me into a transcendental state where everything flashes before me and i am left with no option but to 'think'.

Its just one of those nights where this divine friend has left into the thinking mode. I am listening to Kites Instrumental theme which i have myself captured from the original movie. The music is enthralling and helps when you are thinking. I have just completed the movie "Boy in the Striped Pyjamas". What a movie and what a magical background score by James Horner (of the Titanic fame). Man, Hitler was a bloody idiot! Over these many years, i have not been able to stay away from any movie that even lamely touches World War 2 or the madness of Hitler! What he did to the mankind cannot and should not be forgotten.

However, this movie, James Horner theme, Kites instrumental and my friend Night combined have made me to think what i want to do in life. There have been days where i have spent the entire night and all my time on browsing some of the world's best universities, their programs, their happenings and their alumni. I have never doubted even for a second that i want to become and die as a Professor. But whenever i see any faculty lists of any of these universities, i come across some really great profiles having alien or unachievable qualifications, which i can only dream of. I consider myself as an above average student who can never learn by rote, can never cram but can understand, can comprehend what is being said. Of course in the Indian education system, a guy like me has no place. I aspire for that place, that curriculum where i don't have to cram what is not required but is important for the exam, not to beg in front of indifferent Indian professors for some petty grades which can never measure my true potential as a student. History has proved that excellence does not require any formal education, it rather just requires a calm environment, peace, patience and probably a place where you can think independently and segregate yourself from worldly troubles.

I am sure night brings that peace, that environment for me. Perhaps but, till so far, i did not have the courage to fight this system, to do what i like, to study what i want to. Knowing you will end up being a professor but still opting for a Job, perhaps to achieve some financial stability and power. But do those guys who go straight into academics don't succeed. Sure, those in India can't. But i never restricted myself to India. I have visited more foreign university websites than Indian ones. Is this an indication of what i really want? Something i am ignoring since long? Certainly i don't have answers. It pains me to see those who are less intelligent than me, some my near and dear ones, going abroad for Masters/Ph.Ds just because they believed that they 'can' and they 'should' go for it. I don't know when i will start all that but the day i started, there would be no looking back. I know that a good teacher is not the one having Godly qualifications, but the one who can easily connect with his students, who can make them understand his subject, his feelings without blocking their intellectual flow of thoughts.

I aspire to become one such kind, one who, if God is graceful enough, will acquire all those degrees and will connect with my students....something deeply lacking in the Indian education system. I will slowly climb up the ladders because i know i have the ability to become one. Night often helps me to foresee, to aspire, to talk to my real self and vision. Aren't you best friend then? I read a wonderful line today to sum up....

"Dreams are not which come when you are asleep,

dreams are those which don't LET you sleep" .....

James Horner is as usual great and Kites music is soothing. Both have come to their end. I should come to mine.. Good 'NIGHT'....

The 21st Century

2010-12-14T01:32:00.001+05:30

Lot of sweat and Lots of work,
No place to rest, Trying to shirk

The moon goes by and the night spent on net,
Where those dreams, where that bird's nest

Face book is near and humans far,
Life is short but tensions of nuclear war,

People dying, starvation and poverty the cause
Capitalists smiling without a pause

Parents are forgotten, siblings gone,
I wanna be independent, what a stand!

Am i amazed or is it just a dream,
Asking questions to myself, Am i a human being?

The loneliness of lives and emptiness of hearts,
Standing stunned in this 21st century world...

On...and on.... and on....

2010-06-05T00:21:00.000+05:30

Missing you is natural,
Loving you is even more,
The dreams pass by,
But eyes are still awake,
Coffees at CCD are cute,
The heavy rains are a proof,
And yet missing goes on.. and on.. and on...
Is this a dream or am i going over the roof??

I remember you...

2010-05-20T00:35:00.000+05:30

When the sun goes down the horizon,
When the moon goes up the sky,
When i come back after a day's hard work,
Then... i remember you.....

When the hot sun looses its heat,
When the cool drizzle chills the city,
When the rainy season comes,
Then.... i remember you....

When a smile touches my lips,
When a sadness comes across,
When the world seems tough,
Then... i remember you.....

When the future seems gloomy,
When an inspiration is elusive,
Then....you come, sit close by, hold my hands in dreams,
And i remember you, only to never forget
What i have gained from you...

- This piece of work is the copyright of the author. Please refrain from copying without permission...

Great time ....

2010-03-17T01:01:00.000+05:30

Several magnificent things happened between January 15th, the last post and March 15th, 2010. I am at loss of words to describe those. However, the things have turned out in a very positive and curious way. I don't know what will happen next, but all i know is the future looks optimistic.

I got this Darts IP Project which has now become the only source of my income in IIT. Good enough to earn every month's living. Studies too have taken an upward route. Compared to last year, a lot of things has changed. I have changed too. Yes, i have changed. The so called rigid, impatient person, that was me and i am enjoying all this change! Sometimes, in life, we do not get what we want. Instead, we get better than that is expected.

Lots of outings to several places, on bike, on bi cycle and on legs. But i enjoy everything. Time goes by and suddenly the clock strikes 12:00 AM. Such is life. As you try to get hold of time, it passes by. I have been fortunate though. A movie in Kolkata, a troll on roads, a golgappa treat, a big bazaar visit, a bike ride, a great Holi, a Hall day function.. Lots of things and great time. Thank You God...

The year that went By....

2010-01-15T01:27:00.000+05:30

The year that should be forgotten for so many reasons will also be remembered by me for at least one reason. I saw the maximum number of movies of movies in 2009. And that too, both angrezi and desi. Absolute nerdo...!! So here's a list compiled since the start of 2009 so as to avoid watching the same movie twice...!! Hehe..

Slumdog millionaire 29.1.09
Munich 31.1.09
Kidnap 7.2.09
Karam
Shool
Fashion
Oye lucky
James Bond - Thunderball
Jannat
James Bond - You only live twice
Honeymoon travels
The Great debaters 11.4.09
Ghajini 25.04.09
Judgement at Nuremberg 27.04.09
Dev D 28.04.09
Yuvvraaj 30.04.09
Enemy at the Gates 01.05.09
ET-The Extra terrestrial 09.06.09
Superman 1 13.06.09
Superman 2 16.06.09
Sarkar raaj 17.06.09
Hello 19.06.09
Neal N Nikki 20.06.09
Tahaan 22.06.09
Hotel Rwanda 02.08.09
Pursuit of happiness 02.08.09
Samay 09.08.09
Dhoondhte Reh Jaoge 19.08.09
Superman 3 30.08.09
Superman 4 07.09.09
Superman returns 12.09.09
8x10 Tasveer 19.09.09
Luck By chance 20.09.09
The Pianist 21.09.09
Runway 23.09.09
300 24.09.09
James Bond - On her majesty's secret service 25.09.09
James Bond - Diamonds are forever 26.09.09
Sorry Bhai 28.09.09
The Last king of Scotland 10.10.09
Barah Ana 18.10.09
Newyork 01.11.09
Rambo first blood 07.11.09
Rambo II 08.11.09
Rambo III 08.11.09
John Rambo IV 10.11.09
The Graduate 21.11.09
Kaminey 22.11.09
Golmaal Returns 29.11.09
Dostana 04.12.09
Shree 420 06.12.09
Delhi6 10.12.09
Teree Sang 12.12.09
Hulk 18.12.09
Love Aaj Kal 20.12.09

Saw - Sank

2010-01-09T15:44:00.004+05:30

The title of the post may look vague but a sharp look coupled with a flashy memory will remind you fellas a movie which i saw today. It preaches hope. The hope which kept a man came out of a prison after 17 years for a crime he never committed but still got convicted for it. So what, if he had to escape from the prison in search of his hope? He escaped successfully and the manner in which the feat was performed was superbly executed, well picturized and made me drop my jaw while seeing it. Of course, i did not have my popcorn beside me to have a sumptuous feel.

After a long time, i got hold of a beautiful movie which some where made me learn a lesson and look into myself. HOPE, as the protagonist puts it. The movie was NOT a commercial success. Of course, in 1994 we never heard of box office records being shattered every Friday. Yet the movie has attained a cult status now. I am fortunate though. I was trying to get hold of it since 2007 when i was barely in 3 rd year, fresh after getting a job.

The prison shown here is a hell. It finally gave my spine a chill before the end. You watch it being free and imagine life in chains. Till date, i failed to understand why some of the best movies are lost into oblivion when they are released and then they return back after 10-15 years with sheer force. I read the movie's history. There was not much hoopla associated with it.

This was also the first time i saw a Tim Robbins film. Superb and well done. And for all you dumbs, who still could not take any clues from the hints, the movie was "The Shaw-shank Redemption.." And how better can the redemption be? The last words roll.. "Hope is a good thing and any good thing never dies..." I really 'saw' the movie and 'sank' into its sheer emotions and character..

The effect of Recession

2009-12-20T00:15:00.004+05:30

So, here i am in the midst of the dead night listening to soulful instrumental of 'Hum Tum'. Dumbo has gone home and so even coffees have become tasteless as a result. An occasional visit to Cheddi's is all that has kept me alive here. The situation becomes even more horrendous on days when a twinkling sound keeps emerging from the pocket pointing that only a few coins are left indicating that the recession has not subsided yet and a possible bankruptcy is not too far away! ATM hardly helps in Bengal as either the machine is out of order or if it is working, then it usually is short of money. In my case, the reason was something else. (Hum Tum is so good a song! Lets hear one more time.) There was this strike of Bankers which resulted in closure of all the four ATMs that day.

But how on earth can you make your tummy understand this? So, the result was that hunger was taking its toll and i was about to faint. I could well make out how bankers who lost their jobs in recession would have felt. But Kharagpur bankers are so -called leftist who hardly know who Karl Marx was! They do not believe in recession. Rather they believe in strike as it is the only thing which keeps Bengal in national news in an otherwise backward and poor state. Such bankers are sarkari bankers so doing work is against their principles. So, I left all hope.

By evening, i was about to faint when suddenly i heard sound of some coins. I quickly opened the drawer and found that its base was full of coins. i started counting and to my surprise the amount exceeded fifty bucks! The habit of putting extra coins into drawer saved my life and i quickly ran to Cheddi's to have a tinku. Recession coupled with strike almost starved me but as they say, there always exists a chance to get over odds.

Zig zag in mind..

2009-10-15T16:54:00.003+05:30

Sitting here in my room after safely bunking the class, i think of preparing a further road map now. Its high time now. No more words! Call for action.. During the past 1 year of my stay at IIT Kgp, i have seen several highs and lows. Obviously the lows have outnumbered highs. Still i am not a usual boy to loose spirit. Its time to rock and rock so that the whole world may see. I hope soon there will be an occasion where i will be smiling and others looking at me. The responsibility of T-n-P cell has become quite exciting now. I am able to take decisions and indulge into discussions. Of course, i have started enjoying. Now i can say every responsibility brings some light and high moments also. Still a far way to go...

The studies have not been as anticipated. I have to focus on that. Though i have started looking into it. Focusing more on the knowledge aspect rather than class room studies. As Nandi sir puts it, "Consider your knowledge of law to be zero after passing out from here. Then only you will improve." How correct he is. As of now, the mantra is to stay cool and stay focussed. Lets see what's in for me...

Growing....

2009-09-03T19:39:00.004+05:30

I m apparently exhausted with my new responsibility. Tension prevails. Complaints of unavailability are regular now. Mom has started complaining. Inspite of all this, there is one thing which keeps me going. The oppurtunity to prove myself, a new chance to let the people see. I do feel the pressure sometimes and a puff or too comes to my rescue. But i dont have much options as my work is too obstruse for the people. Its quite obvious that what i do now will be looked upon as a thing of pride or as a shame, based on the outcome of my efforts. And i am constantly working so that the former happens soon. Moving on, I do missed tanya but what to do? I don't have any option but to accept the fact. The plant which was sown is long dead now. Her birthday was a chance for me to be sad as well as to be happy. Sad because she is not here and happy because she must have been happy as it was her birthday. Geet helps too much and understands me. I still have sleepless nights. I don't know where i am headed to but all i know is that there must be something good written for me. Maktub!! A chocolate is long due by somebody...

And we call vacations boring... Are they really?

2009-06-27T18:15:00.004+05:30

Like all of you, i too get summer vacations. Its a perfect time for vella panti (VP). Now planning to do VP is not at all easy. You have to work hard for it. You keep lying on bed, trying to sleep for maximum time. But how much is enough? Then you get bored of sleeping. Again, then you try to read books. Complete one, two or may be three novels. Enough? Bored again!!

"Lets move on and try some other stuff", we say to ourselves. Now we start watching TV. Different programmes, hundreds of channels. But how many and for how long? Stick to it for two days and you feel same stuff being shown every other day. In the evening, the remote has to be necessarily passed on to mom to watch those K-serials, otherwise its possible you won't be served dinner. So two more days and even TV gets boring. Now what?

"Lets try malls, multiplexes". Okay, our mind asserts. We keep roaming around malls, watching some really beautiful things, try window shopping, watch the latest movies and hang on with friends. But till when? 4-5 days pass, and even this stuff starts giving hiccups. Plus you get additional dose at home for coming late or for spending too much. "Uff, ab kya karein?"

Try shopping. Wow, thats something which has a feel. But you can't shop for more than one day. Why? Bcoz your pocket won't allow, of course untill you are a spoilt brat or born with a silver spoon in mouth. Simple! So even this option gone. Lets join some classes. Dance or cookery. Uff but its so hot outside in summers. How will i go? And why classes? I already attend a lots of them during course work. Lets try visiting neighbours. We visit two-three of them and soon get bored. Why? Because you can't talk with aunties and uncles for more than 30 minutes. "And what about their children?". They are usually either older to us, or too elder to us or simply out of station. No respite here too. "Ab kaha jaun?"

Chalo, lets go to relatives. But they usually are so many. If you go to one and do not visit others, they will start complaining. And what about their pyaar se banaya gaya khaana? That thoda-sa khaana is usually a little less than what 3 people can eat combined. And relatives always feel that we have become slim since last time so we are expected to finish that thoda-sa khaana. Night-long heavy stomach and we swear not to visit such relatives again.

Finally our inquisitive mind asks, "Feel like killing time, Why vacations are so long?". "Arre, but you were dying to have those vacations. Weren't you?", asked God. "I wish my vacations were not so long". Then God replies, "Try to help your mom in her daily works. This way you will not feel bored". Chalo, Lets try to help mom in her daily works. So, We start helping mom in her daily routine. Early morning walk, then breakfast, tea, Lunch, grocery shopping, evening tea, dinner, doing the dishes and lo ho gaya. We prepare tea, may be try and soon start hating kitchen.

...Uff same stuff again and again? What seemed so simple to us is often very difficult. And our respective moms keep on doing it the same stuff uncomplainingly for so many years, infact through all their lives. And we have so many different works to do during these two month vacations and we complain ki i am bored? So is our boredom any where near to what our mom's felt during the past 20-25 years doing same stuff over and over again? Confused and surprised i asked mom. "Mom, don't you get bored?". She replied, "if i would have got bored even once during all those years, you would have been left hungry, or you might have missed your homework, might have missed your exams, or your breakfast, or you might have missed out on your play time. But did that ever happen? When was the last time your mother got ill? Beta, i took all your boredom upon me so that you can live happily and become what you are today. And seeing you i too am happy. Its important to love your work. Then only you can do the same stuff continously for so many years and succeed in your goal. "

I literally cried hearing that. And i realized what's fashionably called boredom among students is just a myth. Somewhere a mom must be getting bored right now so that her child can be happy. I realized that our vacations are enough for us. We can do many things but we will like them if only we love them. And while i finish this line, i know God must be smiling from the sky seeing me and my changed view..

Friendship defined

2009-06-26T17:33:00.005+05:30

Many a times, i do those things which i should not have done. But we all are like that. I believe if we do any thing honestly without any suspense at the backyard, then doing that is justified. May be to be spontaneous is not good. But to keep mum is also not welcomed.

I kept on thinking the whole night what is the basis of a good friendship? Is it too much time which was spent, is it understanding, is it honesty, is it leg-pulling, is it laughter or is it the company of the other person? I inferred that a good friendship has all of these components, in small parts. But still without understanding, it's not going to exist. The foundation of every such building must be understanding. So does a friendship enters danger zone by removing one of these factors? I hope not. Understanding comes to the rescue.

I have never considered time as the basis. Many of my good friends were made in a day. Its the understanding again. Its the trust which makes us believe that other person cannot do bad to us. He won't harm us in any way. He will stand by us when we need him. But does that practically happen? As far as i think, in my case, i do stand in support of my friends no matter whether the situation is harmful or eventful for me.

Perhaps i am too spontaneous. I pay the price. But its always better to speak off. It helps in connecting with a person. It helps to make a good chemistry. Still no two persons are different. So not many people will agree with the above point. But then, that's me. If you feel good in the company of a person, then he is your friend. If you have a proper understanding and feel good in his company, then he's your good friend. If in addition to the above two, you also have trust upon him, then he is your best friend. This is because trust is one thing which develops only once. If it is lost, it is never build up again. It's my opinion. People may vary.

Good relations take months to develop. But it takes five minutes to crush them. I hope i remember this forever.

The start of a new Dawn

2009-06-16T16:13:00.003+05:30

The previous semester was a horrendous one, partly due to Tanya's insensitivity and partly due to the aftermaths of it. Some stupid, emotional and absolutely crazy acts ensued . I had never been so insensitive towards my studies as was in semester that passed by. Never did i thought so casually about my career and risked it as in this one. But once all this is over, i hope for a new dawn. Very painfully and unwantedly, i have collected the bits and pieces of my mind in this soul-crushing, body shattering milieu which the so-called IIT gives its students. It is easier to express than to feel. I will never like to look back at what happened. May be it does not deserve to be thought about. Obviously my life has no place for coconuts.

Now, i wish for a new sun, a new environment, a new semester, a new thinking, a new Sachin. While i am more thoughful and working harder to restore the fruitful relationships i built over the years with my friends, at the same time i am also trying to be somebody who can be relied upon entirely. A little more trustworthy. This semester i wish i can concentrate only on my studies and career. I will work hard for it. I aspire to be a little more ruthless if i be hurt and with a little more proving attitude. But one thing is certain. I donot have any reason to be the person i used to be.

If you ever fall down in life, you have only two two options: either stay down or get up. I have chosen the latter. So let me start. A lot of work is pending. And this time, Jerry will also be around. So overall a new dawn !

An Unseen Chum..

2009-05-21T18:52:00.003+05:30

She is from Delhi, a place i have enough reasons to hate. I havenot seen her. I hardly know anything about her. Yet i feel she is a great buddy, a close one. I don't know why she feels like talking to me or why i send messages to her? Of course, i have not seen her but i expect to meet her soon. In this globalized world, friends are on a click of the mouse. Her voice has innocence and freshness. Usually i am not too loquacious with girls but she makes me feel comfortable as if we know each other since many years. The ease with which she talks is great and she must be having many friends. And ya she is so cool, cooler than ice. Hehe. She makes me laugh on some really small and stupid things. A little moron, a little weirdo and a great chum. I remember she once asked where i belonged to. I replied that i m an indian and she felt very nice. Likewise, many of her spontaneous answers make me laugh. I can't stop pulling her leg. Her spontaneous answers bring smile on my face.

She often impresses me with her intelligence and makes me feel that she deserves to be at IIT and i should be thrown out. :-) Her "Yesh" is a word in the voice of a girl with a childish heart. More optimistic, more naughty, more considerate and may be more caring than me. I think the only difference between us is that she lives and enjoys her life more completely than me. She's very honest in her words and i never mind any of them.

That's Proton alias chotu scientist alias sonu for me. I am lucky to have this dumbo friend. Hope we remain good friends for times to come. Hey dumbo, You rock.. ! And yes, I don't hate Delhi anymore..!!

Rain and distress...

2009-05-06T03:10:00.001+05:30

Its may and already there have been two sessions of downpour at Kgp. Its raining outside. The atmosphere here is so serene and such great silence. Enough that a person can talk to himself completely without any disturbance.

They are putting up new infrastructure here and all my classrooms are AC now. I do not feel like going home. Off lately i have made a new net friend and i feel happy about it. My life is just not clicking. But it should get going soon.

I have stopped watching movies completely coz they make me sentimental now. Don't know what more changes i have to bring in myself to adjust my life :-( . On one side, i am here trying to resurrect and collect my broken bits and pieces and on the other Alice must be enjoying her new found life. One thing is for sure. I will not do anything that compromises my reputation, my good will or hurt her. Otherwise, what's the difference between both of us?
Thanks to Isha. She called after a long time. She's a true friend.

A good qoute..

2009-05-04T01:08:00.000+05:30

Today i came across a brain-storming quote. It said, " Don't make someone a priority in your life when you are just an option in his life". Is it really so? I don't know. I just know that i have been honest and i will remain honest.

Its so lonely here. I wait to hear that tring-tring when Alice will call on my phone. That's life...

The time which has stopped

2009-04-30T00:41:00.001+05:30

It feels very pinching. Why do mom ask about alice again and again? What is my fault? What should i answer?

I am so much pissed off by all this. Why should i always be on scanner when i did nothing? People use it to taunt me as if i was incapable; as if all was my fault; as if it was me who was heart-less? That heart tearing pinch.. Uff... God why you punish me each day each moment? Was i so bad?

Did any one saw all those moments when i was sobbing in this loneliness, for no fault of mine? My only fault was that i showed too much concern for a person whom i thought deserved it. I am also angry on Isha. It has been a month since she called. Obviously i have got to know my actual importance. When i needed people, they all went away saying you are strong, this is happening for good, you will come out, "Move-on". Very easy words to shrug off one's responsibility and stay away. Keep it up people..

Fever

2009-04-20T22:08:00.003+05:30

Mom has got plasters in her left leg. Already she was so weak by spondilytis and now this no-movement plaster. I too am not well today. Have caught fever. Can't even tell mom.

Hey Alice, i know you think but you don't call me. But the real taste of life is to hold your head high, not low. I cannot make you believe some things which i know because you out rightly reject those. This is just your fear and nothing else.

But i just write on this blog to express my feelings. After all, how long can i talk to myself?? Hehe. "Kabhi apna khayal nahi rakhte. Baby boy" . Alice, you may not be here to get angry and sweetly scold me on my health. But your memories remain forever...

:-(

2009-04-17T23:50:00.001+05:30

Day by day, Mom's condition is getting worse. I keep on getting bad dreams. What to do? I have to bear all this alone. I will face all this alone. Dear God, One day let Alice feel, what it means to be alone and how it feels when you are punished with no fault of yours.

I hope my mom gets better soon. When i need Alice the most, she is not there. Not even accessible on phone. What a great fulfilling of promises..!!

Bone T.B

2009-04-16T20:37:00.006+05:30

I am very sad today. So have to share my feelings with Google. Mom has been detected positive for Bone T.B. How can a bone have T.B? I heard all my life that Tuberculosis is only confined to lungs. She is already so weak and fragile. I am so afraid and feeling alone here. What to do? Cant even go home because exams are round the corner and dad has asked not to come back. I don't know why life puts all the burden on you at once and tests you so badly that you seem to crumble and feel torn apart in pressure?

Stronger you are, tender you go. Right now i just want to go home. See extremely egregious dreams at night. Why did i came to this place? It's so far from my family, so far from Alice, So far from friends. I don't know what life has in store for me. I just know that Alice is not here. She was the only one with whom i could have shared my fear and anxiety right now. I miss you Alice. Very much.. :-(

Irony..

2009-04-12T10:11:00.004+05:30

Had a sleepless night yesterday. Its become a routine now. Saw cutie in dreams but suddenly woke up. :-) Wanting to hear a voice which i am used to but how to hear? It been a month since i heard her. Do i have her number? Irony... !!
Since i cannot talk to cutie, i express my feelings here. There's no body else...!!

Life shows so many things. Little Alice cannot know/feel my troubles sitting so far from here. She cannot see my cries, my sad mood, my studies, my work-load, my targets, my responsibilities. She thinks i m fine. But i have to carry it all on my head. If she actually feels, then why cutie acting rudely? Cutting contacts slowly. It feels very pinching.

U want to meet somebody desperately but cannot meet. Its extremely egregious. Sweety may not want to meet but i have to. Relations are made over the years but it takes 5 minutes to break them. After all, i am concerned only because my feelings for her have not reduced, but doubled. I hope to maintain them. Hearts are won only by being good and not by any strategies. And i am confident about that.

What is Love??

2009-04-11T20:38:00.004+05:30

One day, i was sitting in this big dark stadium alone in the middle of night. I often go there. I asked myself this question, what is love??
Suddenly all my grey cells started blaming me for my emotional stand. But later, my true virtue took control. People take me as a studious, ambitious person. But they fail to see the other side of me, quite often. I am just like any other average, shy student wanting to help others for no reason.

"Love is when you want to forget somebody, but cannot do that", Prompt came the reply from my heart. You become more concerned, more insecure, more caring, more jovial. It's just the difference of opinions that has blocked our ways. But sooner or later, cutie will realize the space i gave to her. That i gave her full freedom besides making her ready for the nitty-gritties of life. That i loved her while keeping in focus her studies. There are many things she doesnot know. I never told her but i want to tell her now. How? Thats the question. Does Google really talks??

I knew how to make her happy. She gets lively and rejoices just on a visit to restraunt with me. A completely perky and sweet-heart personality.

Good buildings have a strong edifice. And my foundations are strong. A person may shake it but cannot crush it into shambles. Is it Love?? Focus is what she needs. Being a hindu, muslim, christian or a sikh is immaterial if u are in love. The important thing is to have belief and trust in the relation which you have built over the years, not to see each other BUT to know each other well, to know how the other will react in a situation, to understand if other couldnot fulfill certain aspirations, to understand his silence, to understand his wishes, to understand her behaviour. These are the only thing that keep our mom-dad together for so many years !!

When cutie got angry or sad, i calmed her down with a sweet smile or a surprise."Only you can understand me, nobody else". This was the sweet reply i got often. Very cleverly, i used to divert her attention and she could never found out. :-) How i diverted her attention from the tension of campus placement to MBA (knowing fully well that M.Tech is least probable due to less seats), how i kept her away from a good guide so that her grades did not suffer, she never found out. It was important for her at that time to maintain 65% to get admission any where. Those were some unspoken things, i never said. Was that Love??

I know cutie is behaving just like i had predicted. When she is alone, she often search for a close companion. I am not there. And perhaps she has also forgotten her DEAR DIARY. She used to write on a paper whatever she felt. I have stored many of those. I had plans but she couldnot wait till V-Day. And I have to work hard for her future also. Added responsibilites..!! So many things to solve at one time. :-) But i know i will handle all those. I have full belief. She may have lost belief but it will bounce back in due course.. But i have to wait till then and be patient. And what is this?? This IS love..

A brief look...

2009-03-30T12:05:00.003+05:30

Now that my lucky charm has got off-track, i have a very tough road ahead. She is a moving force behind most of my successes. But she hardly realizes it now. My loss is somebody Else's gain. But i am sure he won't understand her as i did. This is because i knew her completely. I did not just love her, i had 'affection' for her just like a father has towards his children. I had seen her grow and transform into a fine lady.

I never thought in my wildest dreams that sweety will go like that; that she can do this. Suddenly she has lost herself in her baseless thoughts. I try each day to make her see the reality but she is not interested. Seems like she wants to remain in that mushy world of her which does not have any edifice.

Dreams are short-lived. When they will crack, Alice won't be able to endure that unbearable pain. I always want that when she meets me, she lifts her head with grace and peep into my eyes. But she knows she will never be able to do that now. It will hurt me equally through out my life.

Little cutie has just broken a heart. But she will come again. And i know i will be there for her till the end...

Some questions unanswered..

2009-03-01T20:21:00.001+05:30

Don't know why i want answers for some questions? Why is it that some questions in life remain unanswered? I try a lot to forgive little Alice but could not do that. Why?
You give your best and you get nothing in return. Not even an email...!!

Had i not been battered with so many responsibilities, i would have given more time for my problems. My life has come to a stand still. Everything else does not matter anymore. This place urges me to move ahead else i will be left behind in this mad and bloody race. I want some support but that is not to be.

People don't understand my irony. I too an human. I cannot take on everything that comes my way, particularly if it is unexpected. Today when i need the support most, nobody is there. Its easy to make people suffer but its very difficult to feel their distress.

Anyways little Alice goes far ahead in life, i only pray for that. I wish she studies more and get a good job. I am not concerned about me any more. I miss you. I love you. Just one chance and i will be the best person you can ever get.All this seems ordinary now. I hope i get the answers of my questions. Otherwise, i will not be dying in peace.

How to meet??

2009-02-15T11:35:00.001+05:30

Cutie doesnot listen to me. She doesnot want to talk to me. Is this all what i have created? Is this what i worked for so many years? Is it the end of my long-cherished dream? She cannot do that. Cutie is not so.

Little Alice is confused because of her loneliness. And she is not able to understand that. Without meeting, these things cannot be sorted out. It requires a calm thought and thinking to arrive at such decisions. She is losing focus from her studies also. I know her. A person cannot change her mind. But how do i meet her? Thats a question. Exams are round the corner. I may have to choose between her and exams. That would be difficult decision for me.

A New Year has Arrived....

2009-01-08T00:08:00.004+05:30

2009 has arrived. May be this year, India will emerge more strongly than ever before after the terrorist attack on Mumbai. Had i been the PM, i would have adopted the Israel model and would have gone all out against Pak to weed out the terrorist-breeding-and-then-denying nation.
The last year gave me so much. I became an engineer.It got admission to IIT Kgp. Again i qualified GATE. Got selected in JNU and IIIT Hyderabad. But there's more to it beside academics. It made me believe in myself and do what i feel the best way of doing a thing. Today i saw a video of harsha bhogle. What a personality he is. The most ordinary man with extra ordinary skills. It has given me a new idea of living life. Fitness, Communication and passion are my new year resolutions this year and i hope i will do justice to all of them.
Getting a low CGPA after a spate of highs will not deter me and i will try to learn more new things in my life this year. Every year brings in a lot of new experience with it and you just don't know what's in store for you.

And ya i have some plans for my sweet heart also. Lets wait till the V-day.. Hehe. I hope she doesnot read this. Surprise should remain surprise na??
So let's get back to some serious work !!

Law in 2050 A.D

2008-11-28T18:59:00.002+05:30

"I thought i can write an article on that". Hence this stuff !! I mean just think that its the year 2050 A.D. You are so much dependent on technology that Robots are your servants. For every thing you do, you require a robot right from cleaning home to preparing food. Almost everybody in your locality has one. Given the speed with which technology is expanding, this scenario is not unrealistic in future.

Now sample this. You send your hi-tech servant (i mean robot) to the market to fetch vegetables. He gets into tussle with another robot, who is your friend's servant. In provocation, he kills the other one with his automatic self defense revolver embedded in his body already. Now the real trouble starts !

What will happen then? Will the police catch him? Will he be prosecuted under Indian Penal Code(IPC) section 302 as he has done murder? But he is a robot, i.e non-living. How can one prosecute a non-living person? Does IPC allows that? Or does any penal code, for that matter, in the world allows that? Your friend has filed a criminal suit against you as you are responsible for the conduct of your robot (remember master-servant relation ?). He has also filed a civil suit to recover the money he spent on purchasing his servant. Now what??
Is the court competent enough to try this case? If not, can anybody's robot kill another and cause its owner monetary loss? These are some of the questions that our legal system will face perhaps 50 years from now. Isn't it? But i think law should catch up with technology. Because law is dynamic. Its provisions should be relevant to the society.

A law is made for the people and it is accepted in the society only if its provisions are relevant and to be followed by the crowd mutually. It will hence require a great deal of thinking before we can actually revamp our entire legal system to cope up with the challenges posted by technology in our lives. I hope i would be the one to see this change..

Some nebulous thoughts...

2008-11-23T01:09:00.005+05:30

So here i am doing the most stupid thing a B.Tech would ever do. Again enrolling for studies rather than going for a job. Honestly speaking, i do miss my college. But IIT life is little different. It crushes u, it grills u, makes u more enduring, more studious, more jovial perhaps. I never felt like doing so much work. But seeing the other students here, i feel as if i have done nothing till now. This is may be a little grim part of this campus. U get frustu easily. But you also get charged up easily. I think its the spirit here which gets you on.

Full day classes, then chatting, internet, late night projects, 12 am coffee, some movies, and oh, its suddenly 2 in the morning. Little time to sleep. But i have adapted into this life. It has given me more stamina than ever. Bored !!? Its not as boring as u r reading here. Its the other way round in fact..!! But for this, u have to visit kgp.
Yahoo, the 1st semester exams are gonna be over soon. And i will be a free bird atleast for a month. I dont know how to spend such precious 30 days. !!
Ok now, its time to sleep..

A Dream that came true

2008-08-28T19:58:00.003+05:30

Never did i thought that some day, i would land up here. This dream institute where every indian wants to be. But God has been kind to me for all those years. The first words after i got selected here were, "Congratulations, U have became a blessed kid now !!". Otherwise, till that moment, i didnot know what is the meaning of the idiom 'out of the blue moon' ! And after i got this call, other calls also started pouring in, making it difficult for me to take a decision.

Many a times in your life, u get what u think u dont deserve.. I dont know whether i deserve this prestigious institution or not, but now i will try to be worthy of it.

So, here i am at the prestigious Indian Institute of Technology- Kharagpur, The oldest, the best and the largest of all. Suddenly my life has changed. People have started recognising me at my place. Other people think my Mom-dad are lucky to have me. So many thoughts are suddenly pouring in. Those who didnot talk earlier have changed their attitude. And after coming here, i have started feeling why IITians are respected. This place is so different from the rest of India. No religion, No age bar, No Discrimination. Only one thing rules and that is your intelligence.

Thank you God, mom-dad, sister Moni and my sweet girlfriend Tanya for all your support.
I will try to be worthy of your aspirations. As of now, i am enjoying every bit of my success.

Nick Names Uncensored - PART THREE

2008-06-27T00:03:00.003+05:30

(This post is not intended to hurt any body's sentiments. All the names used here are purely co-incidental. Author takes no responsibility .Nothing Personal !!)

The beauty and brains of C3 batch are very well known but also are known some of the funky names in our circle..!! Probably one of the best batch till 2nd year, which later on lost mid-way.

1.Kunal Malhotra = Motu malhotra/ Ladies Men
2.Mukul Mahi = Mahi
3. Gaurav Agarwal = Ghaziabadi
4.Varun Arora = Roda pie
5.Ashish Kumar = Pandit
6.Utkarsh Bansal = UT/Pagal
7.Saurabh Sharma = Patel/ Deora/Pakiya
8.Babbanreet = Babban
9.Aditya Jain = Adi
10.Gautam Kapoor = Punjab/ Uncle/Papa
11.Harveen Kaur = Dr. Harry/Tanz
12.Gayatri kapoor = Giraffe
13.Samikhya = Samy
14.Sachin Maheshwari = Maate
15.Ankit Gupta = Patru/Patrakaar
16.Chandan Kumar = Chandu
17.Kunal Punjrath = Punju
18.Sayantan = Jojo
19.Anish Gupta = Bhonda
20.Sumegh Kulshreshtha = Sumo/Simran
21. Raveena, Neha Soni, Harbani = MGG/Hippo Group.

Harry Potter's Debut In Bollywood

2008-06-05T13:25:00.006+05:30

(This post is not intended to hurt any body's sentiments. All the names used here are purely co-incidental. Author takes no responsibility for the content)

The Bollywood film-makers are anxiously awaiting the debut of Harry potter in Bollywood. Ram Gopal Verma cant wait to sign him up. Some sneak-peak into the kind of scripts..

Images from: Funtoosh.com

Nick Names Uncensored - PART TWO

2008-06-05T12:47:00.005+05:30

(This post is not intended to hurt any body's sentiments. All the names used here are purely co-incidental. Author takes no responsibility .Nothing Personal !!)

Though i am not very familiar with C2 Batch , yet some names were heard from the horse's mouth. Those listed here should consider themselves lucky to have availed publicity for free.

1. Piyoosh = Mama
2. Kartikeya = Pandit Ji/ KT
3. Neha Shrivastava = Kalee Mai
4.Saket Gupta = Ek rupee hai kya??
5. Anisha Kharkiya = Khidki/ Tharkiya
6.Vibhuti Gupta = Bhoot/Bhooti
7.Kritika Aggarwal = Kitty
8.Aditi Aggarwal:
9. Kanika Hans = Maami
10.Mayank = Choubey
11.Ranjeet Singh = Bhoora/Don/Bhoora singh tharkila
12.Neha Singh = Bhoori
13.Mansi Manocha = Imported from London
14.Akanksha Bansal = Bansaliya

Image from internet

Part Three will be written soon..

Nick Names Uncensored - PART ONE

2008-05-10T18:20:00.012+05:30

(This post is not intended to hurt any body's sentiments. All the names used here are purely co-incidental. Author takes no responsibility .Nothing Personal !!)

Four years of college are about to end. In the mean time, we were blessed with a number of names by our friends. Some humorous, some cute and some really annoying. We pulled each other's legs but we all enjoyed. Hence some of the names are being presented here.

Vivek Ranjan = Masti/Phattu
Amitabh Gupta = Pondy
Vritika = VMG
Niharika = Jhoom-mati
Sakshi Gupta = Hand-cutter
Spandan Kalra = Spandy/ Cholera
Amit Surabh = Rajpoot
Neha Chawla = Khiwdi
Amit Gupta = HITLER
Gopal = Gopu/Gops
Ashish Aggarwal = Database/ 12-22
Gaurav Singh = C.G
Sachin Verma = Bunker/Verma
Diksha Gupta = Dixcy/Ricksha/Sheela

Image Copyright : Shalini-Sach

Those who are not included can breathe a sigh of relief. Nothing Personal !!
Part Two will be written soon.....