GEETANJALI

Ek kitaab hai aur ek hai insaan,
Ek itihaas hai aur ek hai vartamaan,
Nahi bhulaaya ek ko samay ne,
Aur doosri ne khud ko hi bhula diya meri zindagi me,

Ke khud ko dubaa doon sharaab me ae khuda,
Kuch koft hai jo jaati nahi seene se,
Kehne ko hai wo.. ya shayad nahi hai,
Ya shayad yaadein hai, ya meri dabi khwaahish hai...

Mile wo to ye sawaal poochna to banta hai,

Ke khush to ho na tum kuch ban jaane ke baad?
Ke khush to ho na tum apna mukaam paane ke baad?
Ke khush to ho na tum mujhe jhukaane ke baad?
Ke khush to ho na tum mere toot jaane ke baad ?

Paa liya zindagi se tumne bahut kuch,
Aur zindagi se hame bhi koi shikayat nahi, 
Tum ab bhi khwaahish to meri,
Kuch khwaahishein niklengi Zinda rehte,
Aur kuch mere marne ke baad...

Happy Friendship Day

Like most of the things in modern times, friendship too stands commercialized. However, this feeling has caught on me only recently. You have to "treat" people apparently for nothing, you have to give a fake appearance in their zabardasti ki parties, you also have to "help" them in times of their need, and all this for those who will wish you your birthday through whatsapp ! 

I am reminded of the old times, some years ago. I too had a friend. Self-less, unassuming, always in party mood, unconventionally beautiful and in love with her work whatever it was. As i find myself sitting on my beloved chair, listening to light music instrumentals and holding a peg of Vat 69 in my hands, I surely miss her today. 

And why? Because the love is gone, the friendship is gone and the fun too is gone from my life. In case she is reading this, cheers to happy friendship day. The pleasure, always, was all mine. 

Goals become clear but.....when you find the right path

Long break from blog spot indeed. I am back after almost a year ! 

Today, i was anonymously reading one of my favorite blogs written by one of the better humans i had met in life and spent quality time with.

Sometimes, the goals in life are not so clear, sometimes not at all clear! Their is no point for a batsman to score a century if he is not told how many more runs are required for his team to win. Similarly, having great talent but no clear goals is a waste of talent. 

When i met Jerry long ago, she did not have a clear goal, nor was aware about her talent. I distinctly remember she used to think studying in DU is akin to studying at Harvard. However, that was all that was to it. I remember how much Jerry hated the Bengal land (thanks to the innumerable audio tapes i recorded during our conversations which i hear in my spare time). But yes, i do realized that was because Jerry was immature at that time, not fully realizing her potential and not fully able to utilize the brand that is IIT. I hope Jerry can look back and tell if that is still the case. Talent is a waste if you do not have the correct path to use that talent. I am sure IIT is providing all the right path to her.

People who are good and nice and all is not a bad thing. In today's times, nice people are a rarity. So engrossed is my generation in their pseudo & shallow ubercool materialistic lifestyle, that you can expect nicety from only a handful. I am just happy that i played a part through which this talent found the right path and is going places right now. For an average, not so intelligent and unimpressive mortal human, this small role in Jerry's life means a world to him.

I am happy being unintelligent, unimpressive and unselfish. I can sleep peacefully without any expectations from anyone :)

There goes the smoke...

"Be the change you want to see"

Mahatma Gandhi spoke this line decades ago. I could not help but to reiterate this quote today. My pride rests in successfully resisting the advances of my friends who tried all sorts of tricks to lure me into smoking again. However, it was my steadfast resolve that broke their hopes and slowly all of them fell in line. Now, i am more of a change agent and they wish that they could have the same resolve. They want to be like me. It's not easy to leave one vice. It tested my patience daily but my promise to myself sailed my through. It also increased my respect in my own eyes because it is one of the few things i have done perfectly in life without making any major mistakes. I now relish telling everyone that i don't smoke and i convey that proudly with my head held high.

I slowly started hating smokers and now very well understand what it means to be a passive smoker. My online apologies to those unknown souls whose lives were shortened because of my erstwhile smoking habits. Some of friendships have been a little affected but smoking is not the end of the world. I made many more non smoking friends. 

Today, I complete two successful years of quitting smoking. By this way, i was able to test my will power. By this way, i tested my resolve. By this way, i kept a promise i made to myself. Nothing is impossible for sure and i am feeling very happy.

Naa Aaye ho, Naa aaoge !

This song just epitomized my love for Jerry. It is one of those soulful and rare songs which you just cannot help but feel it.

Definitely she was much energetic, and i miss Jerry's energy around me :(  But one day Jerry will realize... :)

 

Even Facebook knows it. Damn, she doesn't !

There are moments in life when we question ourselves whether we know somebody enough. Or have we ever known them enough? We start suspecting and undermine our understanding of him/her. I think this happens with everybody at some point of life! 

The internet, however, is a strange creature.  It amazes me with its sheer vastness and range. It can sometimes show some unsuspecting hidden things. 9 out of 10 times i let go of all the invites for games or apps on Facebook. Surprisingly, this October, i just opened one of such app invites and whatever unfolded later made me smile and chuckle over and over again. Swear to god, it was a sheer coincidence but one that made my day. It's depicted below.

According to Facebook, I have a secret admirer. She checks out my facebook profile covertly leaving some online trail which was caught by this app. Pata nahi kyu ye sab kaise ho jata hai uske saath :D :D From a computer virus to operating system crash to Laptop crash to Bank account mismatch and what not ! The incidences have come down as she has matured but phir bhi kabhi kabhi shock lag hi jaata hai :P

Well, she must be wondering right now as to HOW this happened ? By now, all her computer and internet skills must have crossed her mind at least once. And finally she will lift one of those hands subconsciously and some part of it would touch either her hair or her mouth. Honestly, even i don't know how this app functions but its algorithm must be super perfect to track even those who are not on my friend list. On a serious note, it would be particularly useful for girls to know who is stalking them. 

Coming back to the point, even Facebook knows she admires me. But she might feel difficult to acknowledge it. I wish someday like Facebook, she will admit and be what she is, rather than putting up the macho, wisdom-ful, out of the world personality which is taking her away from some earthly realities. Anyhow, my day was made and i am openly thankful to FB, the app and Geet.

Re Kabira Maan ja, Re Fakira yu na ja ........ Aaaja tujhko pukaare teri parchaaiyaan......
(playing in the background)

Give me more...

After 15 hours of marathon sleep to cover 2 weeks of continuous travel, i am up and extremely refreshed. I am feeling like a superman who has been just been given nuclear powers, ready to explode and bomb the world.

Life on land is as strange as the life under an ocean. Everyone knows its there but no body knows the depth of it. Sometimes we get reminded of the vulnerability of our life. No matter, how much we want to run away from it but some one or the other will rub salt on your old wounds, knowingly or unknowingly. 

In my recent tour of Bombay, one of my hall mates unknowingly rubbed lot of salt. He is 38 and i went to meet him after 4 long years. "And how is that girl who were so avidly fond of and seen roaming on scholar's avenue 2.2 ?" He asked. The smile with which i entered with in his beautiful home vanished in a jiffy.  "Hey Bhagwaan, not again....." I murmured. "Sir.... wo.......actually......the thing is", there was nothing i could say.  There was nothing i could have said. My dear friend Punyatma interrupted, "Are sir, wahi jo hota hai.... Haha... Phir kata saale ka.."  He is an experienced guy, understood quickly and we moved on to other talks.

Whosoever i met in Mumbai after those long years asked the same question and i had a tough time answering all of them. I understood that the difficult thing in life is to be made answerable for something about which you had no clue. What should i answer? I invested my time in somebody and if it did not materialize, then what do i do? I have learned my lesson. I have my key takeaways. Theek hai yaar, hota hai life me.  C'mmon....give me more. I want more salt on my wounds... to the point where i become numb.

" Wo chal pade hain zindagi me, hamse zuda hamse alag,

   Ummed hai humein, ki raaste takraenge zaroor"